Move Beyond All the Handcrafted Fromage: French Potato Chips Represent Absolutely Depraved.
Over the holidays, I spent time in the French countryside, an area that appeared exuding refined charm. Discreet, sparkling decorations, market stalls overflowing with exquisitely fresh fruit and vegetables, and a vast array of cheeses capable of clogging every mile of the Chunnel with cholesterol. Overflowing trays of glistening shellfish resting on ice seen through steamy café panes. While observing a extended but civil queue of well-dressed citizens collecting their craft Christmas cakes, I mused, with some guilt, that my home town, York, that transforms into a present-day version of Hogarth’s Gin Lane during the festive season featuring e-cigarettes tasting of mincemeat and ready-to-drink concoctions, would do well to absorb several tips.
A Refined Veneer
Yet all this “art de vivre” business is merely an elegant facade – France is as prey to its lowest desires like any other place. Just go into any grocery store to witness it. The crisp aisle stands as a monument to decadence, lined with such varieties as Roquefort, spiced bean patty, Flemish stew and savory dairy fat flavours. Who eats butter crisps? It brings to mind something from one of those American fairs where they fry solid butter in batter. A certain comedian has asserted they represent the pinnacle of snacking in her experience, but she’s obviously succumbed to some kind of Breton brainwashing – after all, her childhood was in that very region.
Worldwide Anarchy
It is widely understood the world of potato chip seasoning worldwide operates with as few rules as big tech. There is a refusal to let potato be potato, adorned only rightly by a simple, respectful sprinkle of sodium. The UK boasts a dark history regarding chip varieties across Britain, particularly during the festive period. The year 2025, let us not forget, introduced gingerbread Doritos and exclusive steak-and-pâté flavoured chips. Furthermore, who can erase the memory of the occasion when a major retailer thought “prosecco and winter berry” was an appealing flavour on a potato chip? But I thought better from the nation of culinary masters.
What is the logical conclusion? Foie gras crisps? Profiterole? Gauloises? I should stop, before I accidentally suggest the next big thing.
