🔗 Share this article

“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to invest all their resources into preserved goods and firearms.” This nugget of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, talking, glasses-wearing member of the oozy monster mob that infests Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. But, in a strange manner, it’s also remarkably sound life advice. Seriously, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the biggest mistake you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin grasps this. In fact, most of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (arguably his best) possess the same wry, meta sense of humour regarding the hazy boundary separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and as I age, it’s the underlying idea that strikes the deepest chord.

A Childhood Fixation

Of course, my fondness for this movie wasn’t born on such an philosophical plane. In my youth, we only had a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case almost certainly acquired from an non-chain rental store and boasting snarling creatures on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films did not delay lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. From then on, they became an near-everyday part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s original commonly garners all the praise, thanks primarily due to its status as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins on countless occasions. Nevertheless, its sequel infrequently obtains the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During sunny school summer breaks, I’d lock myself inside and play it. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it stayed in constant rotation in my bedroom. Over time, it etched itself permanently in my mindset. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they didn’t seem to mind.

Subtler Rewards and Pop-Culture Nuggets

As I got older, new understandings enhanced repeat viewings, amplifying the pleasure of watching little green monsters gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his second wife Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp has more heart than his genuine article inspiration.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was based on a genuine “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world really ended. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film alternate cuts of a meta sequence where Gremlins seize control of the very film you’re watching. A version for theaters, another for home video and television, each delivering a smirking slice of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy before the term was even a thing.

A Lasting Influence

While it was effects expert Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that captured my attention as a child, this subsurface richness maintained my fascination as an adult. Ultimately, I even interviewed Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation informing me he made the movie with the express purpose of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This cartoonish rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as gravely as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only deepened my appreciation further.

When I experienced a sudden family bereavement earlier this year, I was astonished to realize that, during my most profound sorrow, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it provided was essential to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had bestowed upon me as an adult were similarly beneficial.

Like Gremlins rampaging through a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just can’t control. Dante knows it. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: welcome the pandemonium, commit your entire being into canned food and shotguns and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my go-to cinematic solace.